29 December 2012

this tree, & why it means so much to me

christmastreehome
growing up, christmas was sometimes a hard -- a really hard -- holiday in my family. some of the stories that lead me to say this are too personal to share with hardly anyone, let alone on this blog. others i feel i can finally share, like there were a few years, while i was in high school, when it was difficult financially. my parents had split up, which moved us to seattle. there were some years when we didn't really have presents. and one year we didn't have a tree. i remember a friend stopped by a week or so before christmas & commented that we didn't have a tree, and i was so embarrassed that i lied & said we just hadn't gotten it yet. in a lot of ways, i sort of tend to overdo christmas celebrating now that i'm an adult. and in a lot of ways, i think it's compensatory. maybe it's maudlin to say the sight of a christmas tree in my mother's living room causes me to cry -- but it's also the truth. i want to curl up & stay beneath it for awhile. 

10 comments:

  1. Growing up as a Hindu, my family never celebrated Christmas because it is not part of our religion or culture. However, growing up in America and seeing all the Christmas decorations and whatnot always made me really sad that I couldn't partake in Christmas festivities at home minus the religious part of it. At 23, I feel the same way I did when I was 5. I just know that whenever I have a house and my very first Christmas tree, I'm going to cry because it'll be like a childhood dream coming true, as silly as that may sound.

    So I understand the crying. Believe me. ;)

    Sweet story and I hope you and your family get a Christmas tree each and every year to celebrate!

    neha
    http://nehamade.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Curl up as long as you want! Sending hugs for a continued Christmas season & a HAPPY new year!
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. thanks for sharing, bridget. who we were before we blogged can be really difficult to talk about in the context where we share photos, outfits, wishlists, and day-to-day thoughts, but these moments are what make blogs so magical and what make us a stronger community. you're wonderful and i'm so glad you had a cheerful, peaceful holiday filled with loved ones and memories.

    xo
    writeslikeagirlblog.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. much love to you bridget! enjoy the time at your mommas and underneath the tree

    ReplyDelete
  5. As beautiful as Christmas is, it's got a subtle undertone of bitterness when your parents are split. I love christmas and things are good now but every now and then my heart breaks a bit at the memories of Christmases when things weren't so good. I guess that's just an excuse to be happy that I'm lucky now that things are better!

    Thank you for sharing, big hugs!
    xo
    http://kittysnooks.blogspot.ca/

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow, I know exactly how you feel. I grew up with my mom and sister. My mother did everything she could for us, but it was hard financially. Thank you for sharing a bit of your story :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. you capture everything so beautifully with your words & pictures. bridget, you seriously have a gift of storytelling & writing.

    ReplyDelete