12 March 2013

that time i got trapped in the bathroom for an hour & robbie had to break the door to get me out

this door is an evil door. 

tonight, this door got all kinds of jammed & trapped me in the bathroom for an hour. robbie had to break the door in to get me out -- it's been pretty dramatic around here.

last night, it got jammed, trapping me in the bathroom for an hour. 
the one consolation: there's a little crack under the door
(because the floor is uneven) 
so worst-case scenario, i guess i'd have slept in the tub, covered with towels…
and robbie could have slid some toast in for me.
yes, we discussed this. 

at one point, while robbie was trying to remove the door handle…
or take the door off its hinges...
(i can't be sure because there was lots of nondescript grunting), 
i had him stick his fingers under the door 
& i said something very melodramatic like, 
"i wanna remember what human touch feels like."

eventually, he busted me outta there. 
of course, now there's not really a handle anymore…
and there are some sizable cracks in the door…
but when it comes to late-night bathroom rescues, we'll take what we can get. 

when i got out, robbie took me to wendy's for a frosty…
ya know, to cheer me up. 
we walked outside & there were huge snowflakes falling, and he said:
"what's it like to be a free woman again?"
and i responded: 
"well, it smells like coconuts!"

…but really it totally smelled like coconuts outside. 

and then, right after my response…
i walked into a tree.
and got a cut under my eye. 

so i went to bed wearing a facial bandaid a la rap star nelly circa 2001. 

it was dark & this iphone photo is so bad, but you get the idea. 

here's to never shutting the bathroom door. ever. again. 


  1. hahahaha oh my you just had me laughing so hard. what a crazy mess! glad he finally rescued you--an hour is a long time to be stuck in a bathroom. too bad about the tree in your way...you must have still be disoriented by all the wide open space ;)


  2. I love this. I love everything about this. You are my hero.

  3. ohhh hahaha you make me laugh! glad you got out of the bathroom safely~~~ love reading your blog!

  4. Oh no! I'm sorry! Hope your eye gets better!! I got "locked" in my bathroom once. Only it was the movers that didn't know I was in it and they placed my mattress right in front of the door. Worst 10 minutes of my life lol

  5. ahh oh god sounds like quite the ordeal! I really love the way you've written this though. glad you didn't have to spend the night locked up. And you totally look like Nelly ;) xx

  6. Aw, haha. This post reminds me of a few months back when my fiance took me to the emergency room one night due to a sports injury (i pulled something really bad in both legs during spin class and could barely walk- or get into or out of our car). Anyways, as we left the emergency room that night and I was struggling to climb up and throw my body into his jeep, he was placing my coat in the back seat. Unable to use my legs to get in, I had to boost myself in with my arms and I placed my right hand on the outer edge of the door to give myself a little leverage. Not realizing this, because it was dark, he closed the door on my finger! I screamed- but he still didn't realize what had happened- because I had been in so much pain through out the day every time I had to get in and out of the car so he figured it was just due to my legs.... until he saw me trying to pull my hand out of the door. Immediately he came to my rescue and my screams turned to laughs and then to tears and we drove to Wendy's for a "feel better' frosty. :) The end.

  7. I'm glad you're free! That's never a good feeling to be stuck in a place. I'm glad your husband was there to get you out! There is a short story I read, about a woman who goes into the bathroom for a long time, on purpose. Just hanging out in the bathroom. She's not stuck, but your situation reminded me of that.
    Too bad about the tree though! That is something that would happen to me for sure. Once one thing happens, here goes something else! I hope it heals fast!

  8. Oh no!! Sounds like such an eventful night! But thanks for sharing your story, I'm pretty sure this is one of those cases where you'll look back and laugh about it, if you haven't already :)

  9. oh my goodness, i would be traumatized.
    it also makes me think of a modern family episode
    they get stuck in the bathroom so he slides a cookie tray with a drink on it underneath, with the response "i couldn't find any straws so you're going to have to drink it like a cat."
    i think thinking about that, is the only way i would make it out a live.
    glad you made it out lady. and sorry about the cut.


  10. haha that is sad but hilarious.

  11. I'm so sorry for the mishap! At least you're able to find humor in both situations.

    Glad you're safe!

  12. I would have been insanely melodramatic too, sister. xo

  13. omg haha this is so unfortunately funny. It is so weird because just the other night I got trapped in the bathroom too, but no one was in so I did what every smart person would do and tweeted about it. I love your blog :') ♥

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  15. You are so adorable I can barely take it! I feel like you and I would be great friends if we lived closer to each other. XO

  16. This post had me laughing, girl! Poor you! The facial bandaid is very stylish, btw ;)

  17. Seriously though, I still love this story. You make me laugh.

  18. Seriously though, I still love this story. You make me laugh.