this door is an evil door.
last night, it got jammed, trapping me in the bathroom for an hour.
the one consolation: there's a little crack under the door
(because the floor is uneven)
so worst-case scenario, i guess i'd have slept in the tub, covered with towels…
and robbie could have slid some toast in for me.
yes, we discussed this.
at one point, while robbie was trying to remove the door handle…
or take the door off its hinges...
(i can't be sure because there was lots of nondescript grunting),
i had him stick his fingers under the door
& i said something very melodramatic like,
"i wanna remember what human touch feels like."
eventually, he busted me outta there.
of course, now there's not really a handle anymore…
and there are some sizable cracks in the door…
but when it comes to late-night bathroom rescues, we'll take what we can get.
when i got out, robbie took me to wendy's for a frosty…
ya know, to cheer me up.
we walked outside & there were huge snowflakes falling, and he said:
"what's it like to be a free woman again?"
and i responded:
"well, it smells like coconuts!"
…but really it totally smelled like coconuts outside.
and then, right after my response…
i walked into a tree.
and got a cut under my eye.
so i went to bed wearing a facial bandaid a la rap star nelly circa 2001.
it was dark & this iphone photo is so bad, but you get the idea.
here's to never shutting the bathroom door. ever. again.