20 August 2014

girl in frame

Should you wish to woo a girl, or this one, step one is to find her while she is swimming in a sea of white linens, still half-asleep, still vacillating between dreams and consciousness. Find her. Kiss her on the forehead. Whisper your penultimate statement -- goodbye, you're going to work. And finally, say softly in her ear, I made you a latte. 

I made you a latte.

Ah! The invitation to dream longer, when dreams so urgently beckon -- return, return! And to know there is coffee waiting.

The very magic of a latte whose existence was wrought in unseen actions (by loving hands, not your own, who didn't need to check you would want this, of course not) whilst you slept, to sleep a little longer, and then to wake to its splendor, alone in your apartment, which has become, simply, a housing place for your books.

And that is all good and lovely and well. Truly. But...

Its goodness hinges on its transience. Clings to it. And you know this. As all good things do. It is utterly untenable. So easily sipped too quickly, or not fast enough, growing warm on the nightstand as you yawn, brush disheveled fringe from your eyes, and write.

You know this moment, and you know this deep-seated but ever-fleeting feeling. Because it's you. It is you, girl in frame.

Enlightened to your own ephemerality. Self-possessed by your own wild heart which churns, and moves, and chases one thing, and then another, just when you thought it was at rest.

There are the things that hem your rampant soul in -- the handsome one you love, the books, and the weighty cameras, the letters, your yearning uterus, the cups of coffee, and the need to write, write, write. The material stuff that reminds you -- you are of this world, and in it, you exist, you are.

Ah, but there are wonderful, beautiful, ineffable cracks in the glass, and those quiet things are yours and yours alone, and every girl in every frame has her own. These cracks are not breaks, but are grooves, like the ones that crisscross your palms in glorious unsymmetry.

Oh, that history has painted you a portrait -- and bosomed or bird-boned or berated or brave -- has painted you a permanent thing. Lovely. Still. Bird on a telephone wire, one outstretched limb, a chair.

But you, girl in frame, you are less a portrait and more a film, and that is your secret, is your incandescence.


  1. The thoughts a latte can produce in your brain are beautiful. While I've never had a latte made for me in my home, I know the sentiments in your first paragraph all too well. And when I finally do drift from dream to reality, after forgetting just what my Love had whispered to me in those sleepy moments, I'll find a handwritten note from on the kitchen table which delights my heart without fail every single time.

  2. "Enlightened to your own ephemerality."
    this is so lovely.
    x staygoldrebecca.com

  3. It's amazing his you talk about the most ordain things but describe them in such a way that I feel like I'm reading poetry! You are certainly talented, ever you're with the idea of writing a book?

    "the books, and the weighty cameras, the letters, your yearning uterus, the cups of coffee" especially loved this! Haha my uterus is yearning as well. Sadly.....

  4. This is so beautifully written. Ah I wish I could write like you

  5. If someone whispered that in my ear while I was half-asleep, I would swoon.

  6. Yes. This somehow captures perfectly how I feel on many many days? Beautiful.

  7. This is so poetic and the picture is stunning <3

  8. I really miss posts like this one.

    1. Thank you for your comment. I completely agree.

      To be honest...I overburdened myself with too many collaborations this season, and I regret it. Wholeheartedly. They're nearly wrapped up -- and I'm looking forward to finishing the bits sitting in a purgatorial state we bloggers call draft form.

      I really appreciate your sincerity, and your readership. I promise things are shifting, very soon.

  9. are you writing a book? (no i won't ask what it is about!!) i will buy it when you do.