25 October 2014

girl boss // there I am


tee: c/o stylelately // shorts: UO // sweater: nordstrom rack // wristwatch: c/o daniel wellington
(p.s. 25% off code LOVESTYLELATELY -- every girl could use this tee, right?) 






I am not the type who is particularly commanding. I do not inspire the masses with loud words. I am not one who rallies. I do not tell it like it is -- I am a sugar-coater. 

But, I can be kind. And I try to be good. I am a chaser of infinity, of trying, always, ever, to start a ripple -- 

and there I am. 

This is the thing I attempt to own. And it is a good thing. 

(Though this thing, too, is elusive.) 

I grew up with five brothers. That is to say -- I grew up in the kind of house where loudness was strength. Loudness was getting noticed. Loudness was voice, was equivalent to.

But you may find yourself in the quiet. You may like to listen in, you may like to offer your thoughts, you may crave love, you may seek it, maybe you'll find it, and all of that is good and well, but -- but. In the quiet is where you find it, find where you are --

and there I am. 

And so, to deal with loudness. Here is where you learn not to defy to the word, but to change its definition. You write. Or you make music, or you cross-country run, or you paint, or you learn to do something, anything. But you -- you write, lest your loudness gets away from you. 

Because, 
ah, there you are! --
and there I am. 

You make your loudness. You weave it from the fibers of yourself. And you choose the texture of it, the shape of it, its weight, the color, how it sits and stands, how it moves. 

I am wearing this shirt, with these words, and I am thinking of my own Girl Boss-ness. And what that is. And, as aptly, what it isn't. 

And if my mother wore this emblazoned across her own chest...what that would mean. She, the lioness. She is strength, is exuberance, is life. She is throwing back her head and laughing loud when life is funny. 

As for me. I am eschewing that which isn't I. I am less the words and belly laughs that escape my mouth, and more the words that slip through my fingers, fingers clacking the keyboard, fingers bringing to life -- all things always aslant, askew, abstract. I am stories. Am ever-absorbing newness from the books that pass through my hands. I am the click of the camera. I am the author of myself, and in this thing solely, I am the maker, the girl boss. I am all wound up in the pixels and threads and punctuation in the things I make --

and there, there I am.

8 comments:

  1. The Girl Boss shirt is so bossy. lovely

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  2. Wow 5 brothers!?! I can only imagine that noise and the fighting that went on!!

    http://vodkaandarose.blogspot.co.uk

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  3. Hi Bridget Anne-- We love your blog and nominated you for the Liebster Award! Check out our post! www.twoabeautifullife.com/blog

    Keep up your posts! We love to follow

    XXCheers TBL (Meag&Mar)

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  4. I am determined to get that shirt.

    One thing I have noticed about people who either do not speak as often as others or are on the hushed side, their words are often heard louder than others. As odd as that might seem, it proves true (at least to me). I'm pretty loud and vivacious, but others have a tendency to mute me because they believe I'm rattling off about something absurd. However they are more likely to take the quiet folk's words to heart because they know what you're saying is important. But that's coming from me and I only have one brother. I think I would sit in a closet constantly if I had five brothers haha. I was tortured enough by one!

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  5. So good! I will not yell, or talk loudly for the matter, but I'll listen and observe and my fingers too will dance to write it all down. xx

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  6. That watch! Stephen loves his! They're so classy

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