06 August 2018

word of the day, baths are fantastic, ocean eyes, and other baby things

it's ten p.m. and roo is asleep in our room and robbie's at work for another two hours -- where you can find me is exactly here. this very bed, cozied up on covers, missing the boys from these photos -- the one i hold and the one who took them. (and lo, how the lil one is the spitting image of the other.)

life lately has been full -- no, spilling over brim and brim. my heart feels peace in the way only at-long-last baby brings. there's so much i want to write and so many ways i want to write and right now it all feels a lot -- i will maybe someday sort it out. and so, poetics aside (for another day) here's just a lil bit about life with ulysses these days...

~ ulysses is a small bird, a roll on each thigh barely emerged, still mostly in clothing tagged "0-3 mo" as we inch towards six months on earth.

~ speaking of six months...how absolutely unbelievable...

~ a pure sunshine beam. he smiles with his ocean eyes. smiles seem his inexhaustible gift (and too: belly laughs, inhaled squeals, heaps of raspberry blows). my favorite thing in the world (in any world -- ask me in my next life, my answer will remain) is when i round the bend and baby is with papa and baby spots me and absolutely tumbles into a fits of giggles and grins. i don't deserve this -- this babylove. but goodness will i take it, arms wider than worlds.

~ for two months, sleep has been fitful. in earliest days, ulysses would settle into dreams lightyears-long -- eight hours or more. these days feel untenable now, like preserved in amber, as we cradle a baby boy who wakes often, sometimes several times, sometimes hour upon starlit hour. the absolute bare-laden truth is that i will take it, my goodness, i will-- i will nurse my nursling and coo my roo as many hours on as many nights as he wishes. i have never felt so needed, have never felt so utterly myself, have never felt so exactly where i am meant to be.

~ if ever our dove fusses we like to ask, "where does peace live?" and point to our very chests, point to his own, a gentle effleurage. (what we want him to know is this, so simple a thing: that peace lives inside.)

~ a new tradition, "word of the day" ~ just something for a mama to study in spare moments (if only a wiki page or webster's) and chat about with babe throughout the day. the first was "stardust" then "enso" and tomorrow i think "water lotus."

~ his nightly bath -- to be counted among baby's greatest delights. at first it was maybe just a feeling of near-floating on water but now it's more: splashing, pawing tub sides, lavender bubbles, water pouring from Baby Cup, catching reflections in faucets.

~ baby's favorite bedtime books "day dreamers" -- which mama now has memorized -- and "yak and dove"

~ a true snuggle bear, likes to be held tummy to tummy while he takes in the world. he gives smiles freely to any recipient and then quickly burrows his face on mama's shoulder (bashful) (a lot like her).


1 comment:

  1. He is so cute. Please take care of yourself and the baby