24 January 2019

days at home

these days at home with uli have such a beautiful haziness around their edges; living them is almost like seeing them in hindsight, like old grainy photographs in 70s soft coloring where time is slowed but not stopped. 

i never would have imagined that our life would look like an airy house with wide windows out to the quiet and wild northwestern forest. and yet this is where we make our hours, with our little love child. he already lives to gaze at tree canopies and greet the deer who brush up against our glass walls. i feel so lucky. we are raising him here, but he is the one who invites us to this life, hour by hour. raising a babe is a lot like raising yourself into the parent you want to be. the magic of life-making presents in a hundredfold artifacts and movements daily -- the cold-weather boots and picnic blanket stowed in the cart boot for "just in case" and carrying him on your back and hip and legs like a monkey mama,  another song you have to play for him for this instant. 

robbie spontaneously surprised me with these slippers after i got him the men's pair for christmas. i never knew how badly i needed these. like, existentially. it's all thanks to you that we live in this amazing place and are well fed and taken care of and then you get me slippers on top of it? yeeeeesh, you. are. the. guy. 

our bed was moved by a contractor fixing something the other day and it is pure heaven this way, it feels as close as you can get to waking tucked in a bird's nest. we can see the stars at night, and this week's blood moon. it's such a little thing but the bed moving has kicked me into a new state of inspiration. it can feel like the work of setting up house with a little babe is never-ending but bird by bird i am ticking things off. i haven't figured out my exact goal or intention or word for 2019, but it's something like...showing up, and doing a little more, and being present. it's things like...finally setting up that room. eating vegan more often than not. treating my body like a temple. helping robbie do the same. cleaning out our closet -- cheeeeeeeck. things that feel frivolous but actually feel life-changing like finally getting my hair done that one way. picking up a coat and boots i need in order to take my son into the forest more. and then going into the forest more. with them. just...living the best life we can, together. day by day.

sorting through baby clothes, with plenty o baskets (a most favorite chew toy and walker) for uli. 

cold foam cappuccinos and honestly planning on collecting these BESTA storage units from IKEA for every room in the house because they are so cool looking, like built-ins of the future, and so useful for storing everything and also double as a bench seat. 

uli has been wrapping his arms and legs around my legs like a monkey while i cook or clean lately, and i looove it, it's honestly everything i have ever wanted. 

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